http://www.texturetranscribed.com/blog/how-not-to-hit-the-social-doldrums-at-any-point-in-life
Doldrums are coming back in force – perhaps it’s this age, perhaps my male friends are all feeling it at the same time… but it’s the idea that they’ve been so wrapped up in… work, family business, death business, etc… that hey, they forgot to have kids. Forgot why they’re working for themselves (independence, not working for ‘the man’ as one person said to me lately). I’d say stop and smell the roses, but the work involved in growing roses first is a bit too much for the overstressed, the overworked and tired.
I see people saying, “what the hell is it all for, anyway?” and shedding some of those things that aren’t right here, right now. That aren’t in the moment, alive. I suppose that’s what EBAY is for, but I could be wrong. Perhaps some of those ‘sheddings’ are other people, jobs, bad situations. Let’s hope it’s a positive shedding.
What this doldrum needs is to be sitting on the the edge of a mountain cliff and gaining some sort of fortitude inside to climb higher or find a different mountain. But we’ve all climbed. What is needed is sniffing. Sniffing the armpits of life, getting down and becoming the bug that sits on a flower wondering where the next place to go might be. And not fucking worrying about whether it gets there or not.
AND: Listening to music you listened to just as you got out of high school/college.
AND: Finding old lovers, even when you are stuck in a relationship and just re-friending them again. If you had a strong bond, you have it now, too. It’s just that it’s been so long. They make you feel good (we all selectively and collectively choose to drop the bad memories… at least I do).
AND: Discovering a new passion for walking on wet grass in bare feet and not worrying about the fire ants.
The doldrums come at a time when you are retiring, when you are weary of your work, your personal life – and feel that apathy has always served you well, but now you need more, to get off your ass and move in a fresh direction. Your excuses will be that you don’t do this because you don’t have time or inclination. Since when didn’t you have time to enjoy life?
AND: Assess. Do those things you can’t ‘not do’ like volunteer or visit an elderly person you never had time for before. Help someone bag their groceries. Park on the side of the road on your way home through heavy traffic and just stare into space or make a phone call to your parents or to a sibling or friend.
AND: Friends. Find more of them. Dare yourself to make a new one at least once a month. Use that same intuition you had as a young adult to discover the ones you know are going to be around, real and honest now and into the future. Or go back and reclaim older friends. Why did you stop hanging out, anyway?
Really, doldrums are harder when political restrictions, government interference and hand binding as well as stricter job rules tend to overwhelm us and make us feel completely like there’s just no point in attempting to remove yourself from doldrums. But I think you must.
AND: There is a point. Perhaps making someone else feel that there’s a little kindness out in the world – ‘paying it forward’ is like bringing air conditioning to those who’ve never felt it before. But paying it forward isn’t enough, though. You have to see through eyes that have never seen the world. And although that may take some doing, do it. Find new glasses – and that means gain a new perspective. Call someone you’ve hated to talk to and perhaps listen to them, now. Let them get whatever it was out of their system so they can move on.
Find an old film on dvd that you used to love a lot. Share it. Make a REAL phone call, not just text message to someone who seemed to be ‘up your alley’ but you always thought was a little… ‘off’.
Just remember that taking the time, living right here, right now is probably the most important thing you can do to get out of the world and back into your own naturally- centered mindset.
Oh, look. A beautiful sunset. I’m done here. For the moment.
Kristi Sprinkle
Onlyhuman 